Sasquatch Advisory: You Can’t Fix Stupid, So Why Bother?
Sasquatch figured out long ago that silence is the best way to avoid human nonsense. Shut up and observe.
Articles for category: The Thing That Should Not Be
March 11, 2025
Dumb and the People Who Should Have Kept Their Opinions to Themselves
You ever notice how some folks have more opinions than they do common sense? And not just a couple more—like a Costco-sized, bulk-pack surplus of them. If the old saying were true, and opinions were really like buttholes—one per person—life might be a little easier. Instead, people have a seemingly endless supply, firing them off like a malfunctioning T-shirt cannon at a minor league baseball game. Now, I’ve never been one to shy away from a good conversation, even a heated debate. A little back and forth keeps the mind sharp. But there’s a special kind of dumb that comes
March 10, 2025
The Author Known Guide to Growing, Processing, and Selling Carolina Reaper Powder on Half Acre—The Right Way
DISCLAIMER: This is just a vision I have for a later project. TBT I wanna see if the evil AI ChatGPT can really help me become an overnight millionaire; not really, I’m doing this for life, not the dollar although that pollution is an unfortunate byproduct. No accidental chemical warfare via spicy air currents are intended to blow over onto the PITA neighbor. No sir, no ma’am, keeping it all about farming, processing, and making a legal, profitable product without causing any pepper-related casualties. The Author Known Guide to Growing, Processing, and Selling Carolina Reaper Powder on ½ Acre—The Right
March 9, 2025
The Boy, The Sasquatch, and The End of the World (Again)
"They tell you the strings keep you safe, that without them, you’d fall. But what they don’t mention is that the moment you cut them, you finally learn how to stand on your own."
Beyond the Rabbit Hole: A Guide to the Many Ways You Can Fall Into the Unknown
I was thinking… There comes a moment when a person, perhaps fueled by too much curiosity or not enough sleep, finds themselves deep in the Rabbit Hole—a place where thoughts spiral, internet searches never end, and what started as “how deep is the ocean?” turns into “are we living in a simulation, and does my dog know?” For most, this is the point where they recognize they should probably go to bed. For others—those with an unchecked thirst for knowledge (or gin)—the Rabbit Hole isn’t the end. It’s just the entry point. Beyond it, things get… strange. So, what happens
The Sasquatch Who Knew Too Much (And Why Humans Are Too Dumb to Listen)
A Hairy Tale of Wisdom and Woe Deep in the uncharted wilderness, past the reach of 5G signals and human common sense, lives a creature of extraordinary intelligence—a Sasquatch so enlightened, so profoundly wise, that his every grunt contains the secrets of the cosmos. But do humans listen? Of course not. Much like an all-knowing husband who foresees disaster before his wife even finishes saying, “Oh, it’ll be fine,” this Sasquatch suffers the same fate: being perpetually ignored, dismissed, and conveniently proven right only when it’s far too late. This is the story of Sasquatch the Scapegoat, the ancient, unshaven
March 4, 2025
The Evolution of Author Known: The Half-Man, Half-Sasquatch Legacy
When he was born, the trees stood still. The wind did not move. Even the birds, those messengers of the shifting world, held their breath. It was not that he was unnatural—it was that he was new. He was both and neither, legend and flesh, story and storyteller, a force that could not be tamed by the limits of myth or man. He did not belong to either world, so he created his own. And in doing so, he became Author Known.
February 24, 2025
The Story of The Sasquatch Boy, How to Deal with Bullies
Before the world knew what a Sasquatch was, before grainy film footage turned a lumbering shadow into a legend, before the name became a marketing gimmick for jerky and truck decals—there was a boy. He wasn’t born with the name. No mother ever held her newborn and thought, Yes, this child shall walk the earth as Sasquatch. No, the name was given. Or rather, thrown. Spat out from the mouth of another boy—one with just the right mix of meanness and timing, the kind of boy who figures out early that some words stick like burrs in the brain. It
