Once upon a time, in the vast, untamed wilderness of imagination, a 7-year-old Sasquatch boy roamed free. He was wild, unfiltered, and completely unconcerned with the expectations of the adult world. His ideas were reckless, brilliant, dumb, and undeniably true—and they needed a voice.
Enter Author Known.
Not an author. Not really. More like a typist. A scribe. The hands of something far greater than himself. A craftsman in the business of building things—some made of wood, some made of words, all built with the same stubborn refusal to accept mediocrity.
His job? To give the Sasquatch boy’s voice a place in the world.
That’s how this all started.
How Did We Get Here?
It was a perfectly ordinary day—which, for Author Known, was a very bad sign.
He was sitting at his desk, writing, thinking, existing in the comfortable illusion that he was in charge of his own creative process. And then, out of nowhere, the boy appeared.
Not just any boy. A feral, mischievous, shaggy-haired creature who looked part child, part cryptid, part walking existential crisis. About four feet tall, covered in blonde fur, with the kind of eyes that knew too much.
Author Known froze.
Who the heck is this kid? Where did he come from?
Before he could form a coherent thought, the boy lunged forward, snatched his phone off the desk, and bolted.
It happened so fast that physics itself had to take a moment to process what had just occurred. One second, there was a mysterious forest child standing in his living room. The next, he was gone—vanished down the hill, into the woods, taking the phone (and, arguably, Author Known’s last shred of sanity) with him.
For the first time in his life, Author Known sat in absolute shock.
His phone was gone. Not lost. Not forgotten. Stolen.
And not by some street thief or cyber-criminal, but by a seven-year-old Sasquatch child who had appeared out of nowhere, executed a perfect smash-and-grab, and disappeared into legend.
What do you do in a moment like that?
You file a police report, obviously.
“He was a weird little boy. About four feet tall. Blonde—well, hair all over his body. Kinda like a miniature werewolf.”
The officer’s pen hovered.
“Mr. Known… are you feeling alright today?”
A long pause.
“I’m fine,” he said. “It’s just odd. That boy looked so… familiar.”
Because he was.
He had always been there.
That was the moment Author Known realized the Sasquatch Boy wasn’t a stranger—he was the real author of all things DUMB.
Not a metaphor. Not an inner child. A real, actual force of nature, capable of manifesting, stealing a phone, and dictating an entire revolution of thought.
Author Known?
Just the hands. Just the tool. Just the one responsible for making sure the world hears what the boy has to say.
So Who Is Author Known, Really?
Wrong question.
The right question: What does it mean to be Author Known?
Author Known is not just a person. He is a mask, a myth, a contradiction that somehow makes sense.
He is the father of the Sasquatch boy. Or maybe the boy is his father? That part is unclear. What is clear is that the kid is in charge.
Author Known exists at the intersection of absurdity and brilliance, where logic and creativity get into bar fights, and nobody walks away unscathed.
He is the builder of things—some tangible, some intangible, all of them shaped by the wild and unfiltered energy of the Sasquatch boy’s genius.
What Does He Do?
He writes books. But not just any books—DUMB books. Books that make you laugh so hard you forget why you were taking life seriously in the first place. Books that sneak past your defenses and whisper ridiculous, undeniable truths into your brain.
He is a philosopher disguised as a fool, a storyteller with a chisel, a comedian with a work ethic. He builds things with his hands, with his mind, and with words that refuse to be ignored.
Why the Mask?
Because mystery is underrated. Because anonymity is freedom.
Because Author Known isn’t the point.
The Sasquatch boy is.
Besides, have you ever tried to take a seven-year-old Sasquatch grocery shopping? It’s a disaster.
Not that Author Known would know.
I have only seen that kid once.
Oops. Please pardon the first-person intrusion. Back to the story.
What Can You Expect?
If you’ve made it this far, congratulations. You are either curious or dumb—both are admirable qualities in this universe.
What can you expect from Author Known?
- Books that make you laugh, think, and reconsider your life choices.
- Stories so absurd they feel uncomfortably true.
- A deep dive into the ridiculousness of existence, told by a man who isn’t actually the author of anything.
Because Author Known isn’t the real creator.
The Sasquatch boy is.
He stole the phone. He dictated the vision. He started this whole mess.
Author Known?
Just the guy who types it all out.
And so, the masked man and the 7-year-old Sasquatch child continue their work—writing, building, laughing.
Because in the end, the only thing dumber than questioning everything is questioning nothing at all.
And the only real mystery left?
Where the hell is that damn phone?
Welcome to the madness. Welcome to the craft.
Welcome to Author Known.
Next stop, The Story of the Sasquatch Boy
Discover more from Author Known & A Dumb Idea
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
I’m so curious to see where sasquatch boy took your phone? I’m guessing it had a shiny reflection and he is going to put it in a tree to signal to other sasquatch energies? Or perhaps he is undoing all of your knowns where you can discover more unknowns. 😄
Perhaps. We’ll just have to see. Thanks for your comment.